Idowu* (28) and Tito* (28) met as children and became inseparable. For nearly two decades, they shared almost everything. Then Idowu discovered a secret that shattered the friendship she thought would last forever.

For Sunken Ships, Idowu shares how finding out that Tito was secretly involved with her ex-boyfriend broke her heart and changed the way she sees friendship and trust.

Can you describe your relationship with Tito?

We鈥檝e been best friends since we were 10. We met at her cousin鈥檚 birthday party in 2008. The following year, I saw her again on my first day of secondary school. We spotted each other on the assembly grounds, clicked immediately and became inseparable after that day.

As we grew older, our friendship only got stronger. She was the first person I called whenever anything happened, and vice versa. By the time we got to university, everyone knew us as a pair. If you saw me somewhere, Tito was probably close by. 

We were so close that even our mothers became good friends.

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Sweet. And what was going on in your life outside your friendship with Tito? 

In 2019, I started dating Tunde*. It was my first serious adult relationship.

At first, things were great. Tito actually encouraged me to give him a chance because I was deeply religious and reluctant to date.

We stayed together until 2021, when we discovered that our blood types were incompatible and had to end the relationship. I knew we had no choice, but that didn鈥檛 make the breakup any easier. I cried for weeks. 

Tito was my biggest support system during that period. She鈥檇 stay on the phone with me for hours while I cried and talked about Tunde. She encouraged me and reminded me that I could still find love.

That’s why what happened next hurt so much.

What happened?

About six months after the breakup, I started noticing some strange things. Whenever I mentioned Tunde, Tito would get awkward and quickly change the subject. I thought she was just tired of hearing about my ex, so I didn鈥檛 think much of it.

Then, during a hangout with a mutual friend, she casually mentioned that she had seen Tunde and Tito together around town. I was confused because Tito never mentioned seeing him. 

Ah. Did you talk to Tito about this?

As soon as I left the hangout, I called Tito and asked if she and Tunde had been spending time together. She laughed it off and said people were being messy. She claimed they’d bumped into each other once or twice and only exchanged pleasantries. 

I believed her. Why wouldn鈥檛 I? Tito was the last person I expected to lie to me, especially about something like this. So I let it go. 

Then, a few weeks later, I saw them myself.

Oh.

My cousin was visiting from the UK, so we went to a restaurant to catch up. We were halfway through our meal when Tito and Tunde walked in together.

Tunde had his hand around her waist and she was laughing with him. The sight ruined my appetite. I couldn鈥檛 stop staring until Tito looked up and saw me. She looked like she’d seen a ghost.

Did you confront them?

I walked straight to their table and demanded an explanation. At first, she insisted they were just friends, but I wasn鈥檛 buying it. Eventually, she admitted they’d been seeing each other for three months. 

Barely three months after Tunde and I  ended our relationship.

Wow. Sounds awful.

That’s not even the worst part. It was finding out the layers of lies. According to Tito, everything started after Tunde and I officially broke up. She鈥檇 called him a few months after we broke up to mediate a reunion. She tried to convince him that we could still have a relationship, give up the idea of biological children and adopt instead.

But one thing led to another, and they realised they were attracted to each other. Then they started exploring that attraction without my knowledge because they didn鈥檛 want to hurt my feelings.

I told Tito that the relationship itself wasn’t even my biggest issue; what truly hurt was the dishonesty. You can’t call someone your best friend and spend months lying to their face.

What about Tunde? Did he try to explain himself?

He sat there looking like he鈥檇 forgotten how to speak. He didn鈥檛 say anything throughout the conversation, and honestly, I didn鈥檛 care. 

We were over; he didn鈥檛 owe me anything. But Tito was different. I saw her as my sister, so I expected more from her.

I鈥檓 sorry. Did you ever move past the betrayal?

I stopped talking to Tito. It was one of the hardest things I鈥檝e ever had to do. 

Losing her felt like going through another rough breakup. For weeks, she called and apologised. She sent long messages saying she missed me and didn’t want to lose our friendship.

But every time I read her messages, I remembered all the conversations we’d had while she was hiding the truth. I couldn’t get past it.

Do you think you’ll ever reconcile?

No. I’ve forgiven her because carrying that anger around was exhausting, but I鈥檒l never trust her again. After we stopped talking, I started wondering if she鈥檇 been eyeing Tunde before we even split up. I鈥檒l never know for sure.

She threw away our sisterhood for a relationship she wasn’t even sure would last. The last I heard, they aren’t together anymore.

Has this changed how you navigate your other friendships?

Yes. I don鈥檛 believe in best friends anymore. I think the only people who can truly have your back are your family. I still have close friends, but I know deep down that if push came to shove, they鈥檇 choose what鈥檚 best for them. I’ll probably do the same.

Has this affected your romantic relationships, too?

Not really. I鈥檓 currently in a loving relationship that’s almost two years old, and I feel cherished.

Has Tito tried to reach out to you since then?

She sends me a birthday message every year on WhatsApp, but I never reply. I have nothing to say to her anymore.

Names have been changed to protect the identities of the people involved.

Read Next: Sunken Ships: He Dumped Me Because I Forgave Him 

Ada* (28) believed she’d found a relationship worth fighting for when she met Obaloluwa* (29) in 2022. For nearly two years, things seemed to be heading in the right direction. But a betrayal, followed by an unexpected breakup, left her questioning everything she knew about love and self-worth.

For Sunken Ships, she talks about navigating her ex鈥檚 infidelity, the aftermath and how she鈥檚 rebuilding her self-trust.

How did you meet Obaloluwa?

We met at a cafe in October 2022. I had gone there to work because the light in my area was bad. The place was full, so when he came in, we had to share a table, and we started talking.

I wasn’t actively looking for a relationship, but we clicked almost immediately. He was funny and charming, so when he asked for my number, I was happy to give him. After that, we started chatting regularly. A few months later, we officially started dating.

What were the early days of the relationship like?

Honestly, they were great. He became a big part of my life very quickly and made me feel seen. We talked every day and even started making plans for the future we wanted.

So when did things start to change?

Around the year-and-a-half mark. It wasn鈥檛 a dramatic shift at first. I noticed he became less present when we were together. When we were apart, he took longer to reply to messages, and he stopped sharing details of his day. Whenever I brought it up, he had an explanation or an excuse. I didn鈥檛 think about it too deeply because I thought we were just past the honeymoon phase. Then, during one of my visits to his place, I went through his phone while he was sleeping and found out he鈥檇 been seeing another woman.

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Whoa. How did that make you feel?

I felt so hurt and betrayed. I had opened up my heart to him, and he didn鈥檛 cherish me enough to be faithful. I remember sitting and staring into space for hours. I couldn’t even cry immediately because I was so shocked.

Did you confront him?

Yes, I did as soon as he woke up, and he admitted it. He spent the whole day apologising to me. He said he loved me and didn’t want to lose me. He also swore it was a mistake and promised never to do it again if I gave him another chance. 

So what did you decide?

I forgave him. Not because what he did wasn’t terrible, but I genuinely believed he was willing to change.  I think people can learn from their mistakes, so I was willing to give him another chance.

I really wanted us to put it all behind us and survive it. We spent weeks talking about rebuilding trust, and I saw him put in the effort he鈥檇 promised into reassuring me. 

Did things improve after that?

At first, yes. He became very attentive and doting. He went back to sharing his days and interests with me like he did when we first met.

After a month had passed, I felt like he was pulling away again, and I was afraid he鈥檇 gone back on his word.

Did you tell him about how you were feeling?

Yes. I told him he was being distant and told him to open up to me. His response blindsided me.

He said he didn鈥檛 think he could continue our relationship because I took him back so soon and acted as if nothing had happened, which made him worried about my self-esteem.

Ah!

I was so confused and angry. I was trying my best to move forward, and that was why he wanted to leave? I couldn鈥檛 believe it. 

I still fought for us. I tried to make him understand that I wanted to prioritise strengthening our relationship rather than wallowing in the past, but his mind was already made up. According to him, my forgiveness came too easily for him to believe I鈥檇 ever take a stand on any bigger issues we faced as a couple.

Why do you think he made that decision?

I think leaving was easier than doing the work required to heal our relationship. I also think he didn鈥檛 believe that I had truly forgiven him.

What has healing looked like for you after the relationship?

It鈥檚 been a long road since then. I had to come to terms with the fact that I may have had low self-esteem to take back a cheater, only for him to leave me. I鈥檝e been saying positive affirmations to my reflection in mirrors to help increase my trust and confidence in myself. I also decided to pick up a gym habit. Following through with the things I promise myself, like working out three times a week, has helped increase my faith in myself and self-discipline.

Do you think you are open to dating again?

I am. The experience definitely did a number on me, but it didn’t destroy my belief in love. I鈥檓 much stricter now, though. I鈥檒l never let a man play with my heart like that again.

Read Next: Sunken Ships: My Fianc茅e Left Me Twice. Now She Wants a Third Chance.

When Sharon*(29) said yes to Biodun’s (38) proposal, he thought the hardest part was over. Instead, it marked the beginning of a relationship filled with surprise breakups and painful reunions. 

After being pulled closer and pushed away by the woman he considers his forever person, Biodun is left asking himself one question: How many chances are too many when you’re in love? 

How did you meet?

Sharon and I met at a friend鈥檚 wedding in 2024. She was one of the bridesmaids, and I was immediately drawn to her beauty. I introduced myself during the after-party, and our chemistry was undeniable. We started talking afterwards, and I told her from the jump that I was looking for a serious relationship.

What were the early days of your relationship like?

They were amazing. I felt like she understood me better than any of my previous partners. She was a great listener, and I loved spending time with her. One of the things that made me fall so hard was that she鈥檇 made playlists for us to listen to together when she visited. It made me feel like I鈥檇 found my forever person.

Sounds sweet. When did things take a turn?

Everything started when I asked her to marry me in December 2025. I surprised her over dinner, and she said yes without hesitation. I felt on top of the world.

We posted our engagement photos online, I told my family, and I started making plans to formally meet hers and declare my intentions.

At first, they welcomed me with open arms, but it was all a lie. They assumed, because of my last name, that I was related to a wealthy politician. Once they realised I wasn鈥檛, they rejected me and said I wasn鈥檛 good enough for their daughter.

Oh. How did Sharon react?

At first, she stood by me and told her family she wasn’t going to leave me because of their objections. But they threatened to disown her. 

She came back and asked for two weeks to calm everyone down. I gladly obliged, and we took a step back from our relationship.

Those were the longest two weeks of my life. I was anxious the entire time, hoping she鈥檇 come back with a positive response. 

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Did she?

No. Her family still refused to support our union, and she wasn鈥檛 ready to lose them. Then she called off the engagement and ended our relationship. I was devastated.

About a week later, while I was still trying to process everything, she called me crying. She said she couldn鈥檛 live without me and wanted us to get married regardless of what her family thought. I was overjoyed. I immediately told my mother the wedding was back on and invited  Sharon to Ibadan to meet my family properly. That鈥檚 when another problem started.

What happened?

She kept avoiding the visit. Every time we agreed on a date, something happened. Sometimes work came up. Other times, she suddenly had a fever. There was always an excuse.

I couldn鈥檛 understand what was going on. This was the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, but I suddenly felt like I couldn鈥檛 rely on her word. I loved her and wanted to believe her, but the constant postponements made me question how committed she really was.

Did you tell her how you felt?

I tried to, but she shut the conversation down. Then, for the second time, she ended the relationship. This time, I was angry.

Why raise my hopes again only to crush them? I had to tell my family the wedding was off鈥� again.

They thought I was unserious. I鈥檇 already been getting pressure for marrying late, so cancelling the engagement twice made me look bad. I hated that.

What happened next?

We didn鈥檛 speak again until April.

 She sent me a long message begging for another chance. I was conflicted. I missed her badly, but I couldn鈥檛 bear the thought of embarrassing myself in front of my family if things fell apart again. 

Eventually, I agreed to give the relationship another shot, but this time I kept it to myself. Things picked up from where we left off. She was still sweet, and I felt like I was falling for her all over again. 

I eventually decided to take the risk and tell my family we were back together. Then, in June, she asked for space again.

Again? 

I didn鈥檛 even ask for her reason. I鈥檇 reached my limit. I sent her a nasty voice note calling her a manipulator, and blocked her on WhatsApp. I didn鈥檛 want anything to do with her again.

But did you truly move on?

I wanted to. I focused on my healing for the next couple of weeks, until she sent me a Happy New Month message on Instagram. She apologised again, begged me for another chance and even sent me a written undertaking she鈥檇 signed, promising she genuinely wanted to build a life with me.

I鈥檝e read the message, but I haven鈥檛 replied. One part of me believes she鈥檚 the person who understands me better than anyone else. When we鈥檙e together, everything feels easy.

The other part remembers how many times she鈥檚 made me look foolish and wonders if I鈥檇 be setting myself up for another heartbreak.

So where do things stand right now?

I honestly don鈥檛 know what to do.

I still want marriage more than anything. I just don鈥檛 know if it鈥檒l ever happen with Sharon. She鈥檚 already walked away twice and obviously doesn鈥檛 want this as much as I do.

Read Next: Sunken Ships: I Finally Dated My Longtime Crush, but He Wasn鈥檛 Over His Ex

For Sunken Ships, Tumi opens up about how they met, the intense gut feeling that predicted their end and how she dealt with the painful aftermath.

When did you first realise something was wrong in your relationship with Jacob?

The phone calls. I called him over and over, yet he kept hanging up. That was unusual. We always stayed on the phone until one of us fell asleep, so it was unlike him to avoid my calls. It was the first time it happened, yet that moment was all I needed to accept that something had changed.

Let鈥檚 go back to the beginning. How did you guys meet?

I met Jacob at a party through mutual friends in 2022. We weren鈥檛 close, but we got along whenever we saw each other. I鈥檇 always found him attractive. He was funny, handsome and confident.

The only problem was that he was always with someone, so I kept my crush to myself. Then,  in 2024, he messaged me out of the blue.

He wanted a mutual friend鈥檚 number, but after I shared it, we just kept talking. Before long, we were texting every day and becoming really close.

So, at what point did the relationship stop being platonic?

He started applying pressure. He鈥檇 text me first thing in the morning and call after work almost every day. I enjoyed the attention, but I didn鈥檛 want to read too much into it. 

Then, in August 2024, he admitted he had feelings for me.

Oh.

I told him I鈥檇 liked him for a long time too, but I never said anything because he鈥檇 always been in a relationship. He quickly assured me he was single and asked me to lunch that weekend. Of course, I happily agreed.

How did the date go?

It was everything I鈥檇 imagined it would be. We鈥檇 already built up such a strong rapport over calls and text that meeting in person felt effortless. Our lunch turned into dinner, and I almost didn鈥檛 want to leave at the end of the day.

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Cute. Was that when you became official?

No, but we kept talking every day, going on dates and spending every weekend together. By the end of September, he asked me to be his girlfriend.

What was your relationship like in the beginning?

It was great. He was attentive, and as usual, we spoke every single day. I only asked that we keep the relationship off social media, but everyone important in our lives knew we were dating. 

 About four months, things started to take a turn. One day, while hanging out with friends, someone asked after his ex. The way he froze made me uneasy. I shrugged it off at first, but soon after, he started acting differently.

What do you mean?

It felt like he鈥檇 deliberately put some distance between us. Whenever I asked what was wrong, he鈥檇 blame work stress, but I didn鈥檛 believe him.

My gut kept telling me something was off, and it was more than just work issues. So I decided to investigate. I searched for his ex on Instagram and noticed she鈥檇 posted photos from places Jacob had been recently. I told myself it was a coincidence, but the feeling only got stronger.

Did you talk to him?

No. I didn鈥檛 want to admit I鈥檇 been stalking his ex online. Instead, I tried to get us back to where we鈥檇 been by asking to spend more time together. But he became harder and harder to reach. 

One evening in January, I called him several times after work, but he kept hanging up. He ignored my messages, too.

When he finally responded, he said he鈥檇 been busy and went to bed early. I accepted his excuse, but I knew something was off. 

He became even more withdrawn, and by the end of January, he ended the relationship.

I鈥檓 sorry. Did he say why?

He blamed work and said he wasn鈥檛 giving me the attention I deserved, so he wanted to step back. 

I was hurt because I felt like I鈥檇 seen the breakup coming. Nothing, however, prepared me for Valentine鈥檚 Day.

What happened?

He posted a photo with his ex at a Valentine鈥檚 Day dinner. I couldn鈥檛 believe my eyes. I stared at it, hoping it was a throwback picture, but after asking around, I found out they鈥檇 gotten back together right after we broke up.

What hurt the most wasn鈥檛 even the photo. It was the caption. He wrote about how he鈥檇 spent all their time apart waiting for her and how nothing else mattered. Was I the 鈥榥othing else鈥�? 

I thought we had something real, but he was just using me to warm his girlfriend鈥檚 seat.

Did you confront him?

I did, and the annoying thing is how honest he was. Part of me almost wished he’d lied. He said he thought the relationship was over when we started dating and that he wanted to move on. But once his ex showed interest in trying again, he realised he still wanted her.

Those words hit my self-esteem like a gut punch. I felt disposable. I blocked both of them everywhere and tried to move on. I feel better now, but those first few days after the split were the roughest.

Could you ever be friends with Jacob again?

I鈥檝e forgiven him, but I don鈥檛 want him in my life anymore. A part of me is still angry because he could have left me alone instead of using me as a placeholder until his ex came back. I don鈥檛 wish him bad, but I want nothing to do with him again.

Has this experience changed how you approach dating?

Definitely. I鈥檝e become more wary of people, but I鈥檓 still trying to keep an open mind. 

I have a strict policy now, though. I don鈥檛 date anyone who has been out of a relationship for less than six months. I never want to be anyone鈥檚 rebound again.

Read Also: Sunken Ships: I Lost My Best Friend After Dating A Woman He Said I Could Have

Kachi* (28) had always been drawn to Favour* (26) since they were kids. Over the years, she became a constant presence in her life; checking in, walking her home, studying with her, buying her birthday gifts and making space for her, even when Favour rarely did the same.

But every unanswered message and one-sided effort forced her to confront a painful possibility: what if the friendship she cherished existed only in her head?  

For Sunken Ships, she shares how years of chasing validation from someone she admired slowly eroded her self-esteem and why walking away was the only way to find it again.

Tell me how you met.

We attended the same church as kids, but I didn鈥檛 become drawn to her until 2014, when her mum passed away. She鈥檇 battled an illness for a long time before she died.

I saw firsthand the toll it took on her family, and I wanted to be there for her. In between offering comfort and companionship, our bond started to grow.

What were the early days of your friendship like?

Even though grief had brought us close, things still moved at a slow pace; she spent most of the year at boarding school. I鈥檇 only see her during the holidays, but we always got along well. For some reason, I thought the feeling of friendship was mutual.

Anyway, we continued the holiday-period arrangement for some time until she graduated in 2016. By that time, she spent more time at home while she awaited admission into university. She joined the same church workers鈥� society as me, and after our meetings, I鈥檇 walk her home. If she missed a meeting, I鈥檇 drop by to check on her.

That鈥檚 sweet. So at what point did you first notice cracks?

The funny thing is, I never quite did. I thought we had a great friendship. She gave me every reason to believe that she valued our friendship.

I remember we also promised to exchange birthday gifts in 2016. I was working at the time, so I gave her money to make her hair and bought her a beautiful dress. Seeing how happy she was made me happy too. She promised she鈥檇 get me something special for my birthday. 

But she never kept that promise.

Oh.

I got nothing from her. Even worse,  she didn鈥檛 post me on her social media, which stung. I honestly can鈥檛 even remember getting a birthday message from her.

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Curious. Did she know it was your birthday?

Yes. She kept telling me to be patient because she hadn鈥檛 found the right gift yet. She made that promise over and over again, but nothing ever came.

Right. Why didn鈥檛 you walk away?

That should have been my first lesson in reciprocity, but I really liked her. She was a representation of the person I hoped to be, so I wasn鈥檛 ready to let go of the friendship. I suppressed my feelings and carried on as if nothing had happened.

So did things improve after that?

Not really. We started studying for JAMB together. After work, I鈥檇 go to her house so we could study and talk about everything we wanted to do when we got into university. 

Eventually, we got into different schools, and we were back to a long-distance arrangement.

This time around, I couldn鈥檛 ignore the cracks. I was always the one checking in. She started a business in school, and she鈥檇 only reply promptly when I wanted to patronise her. Otherwise, she鈥檇 leave my messages unanswered for days.

Did you ever bring it up?

I did, but she said balancing the business and school was tedious. But the funny thing was that the only time she鈥檇 reach out first was when she was coming back to Lagos for the holidays.

Even then, it started to feel like the friendship was one-sided. She constantly posted photos with her other friends, but never me. The only time she did was in 2018, and that was because we鈥檇 done a photoshoot together. Even though the friendship battered my self-esteem, I stayed in it.

Then a few years later, my father passed away. 

I鈥檓 sorry. Did she show up for you? 

It was one of the hardest periods of my life because I was away at school and couldn鈥檛 come home immediately. She sent me her condolences and promised to visit my mum, but she never did. Even after I returned home, she still didn鈥檛 visit.

 Despite that, I still refused to accept that the friendship was one-sided. I loved looking at her WhatsApp status, but eventually, she stopped responding altogether.

So when did you decide you鈥檇 had enough?

There wasn鈥檛 a big incident or fight. I just started working on my self-esteem, and I realised I didn鈥檛 have to accept scraps of friendship. 

My fianc茅, whom I thank God for, really helped me see myself differently. He constantly reminded me that I was worthy of friendships where the effort was mutual. That was the motivation I needed to cut her off.

And did you have any regrets afterwards?

Honestly, I expected to be heartbroken. Instead, I felt relieved. I felt free.

Till this point, I don鈥檛 even know if she鈥檚 aware that I鈥檝e cut her off, but I don鈥檛 care. 

Fair enough. If she reached out today, would you give the friendship another chance??

No. I think I gave her more than enough time to pour into our friendship. That time has now passed. I don鈥檛 wish her evil, but I no longer want her in my life.

Ibrahim*(32) was more than a friend to Deji*(31), he was a brother. They met as university students, bonded over their love for football, and spent years navigating adulthood together.

For Sunken Ships, Deji shares how that brotherhood slowly fell apart after he fell for a woman Ibrahim once wanted. 

Let鈥檚 start at the beginning. 

I met Ibrahim at a football viewing centre at our university. We kept running into each other during the 2017 Premier League season. One day, we got talking and found out we were both die-hard Manchester United supporters. That was how our friendship started. 

What were the early days of your friendship like?

Fantastic. Ibrahim quickly became my closest friend. We talked every day and shared everything: family issues, money problems, relationships, and career plans. He鈥檚 a year older than me and always seemed to have life figured out. I looked up to him like an older brother. Whenever something important happened in my life, he was the first person I called. 

 I can never forget an event that happened during my final year in 2018.  I lost a chunk of my school fees to gambling, and got desperate as the payment deadline got closer.  Eventually, I opened up to Ibrahim. He scolded me but also helped me raise the money, and made me promise to quit gambling. That moment deepened our bond even more.

Sounds nice.

Yes, I鈥檒l always be grateful to him for that. It made me feel like I could count on him no matter what. 

Even after school, we stayed close. In 2021, when I wanted to leave my family home, Ibrahim suggested we rent a two-bedroom flat together in a building his grandmother owned. The rent was cheaper, so it made sense.

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Right. And what was living together like?

At first, it was great. We split chores, paid bills on time and spent most evenings watching football together. Ibrahim also loved hosting game nights, so there was always something happening. It felt like living with a brother. 

The only area where we really differed was dating.

What do you mean?

Ibrahim believed money was the quickest way to a woman’s heart. He鈥檚 a data analyst and earns well, so he never hesitated to spend on the women he liked. I’m the opposite. I don’t earn as much as he does, so I rely more on conversation and personality. 

Right. Did this difference ever become a problem?

We joked about our different approaches, but it was never a serious issue.

Oh. 

Then in 2024, Ibrahim told me about a woman he’d met online.  He really liked her, but from what he told me, she wasn’t very receptive.

At the time, I didn’t think it was anything serious. He talked about her often and seemed disappointed that things weren’t progressing. Eventually, he stopped mentioning her, so I assumed he鈥檇 moved on. 

Then, in early 2025, I met the same woman through a mutual friend, and we started talking. Once I realised who she was, I knew I needed to talk to Ibrahim before pursuing anything.

How did that conversation go?

I told him I liked her and asked if he’d be uncomfortable with me pursuing a relationship with her since things between them hadn’t worked out. He said there was no problem, and I completely believed him.

If he’d told me he wasn’t comfortable, I would’ve backed off, but he seemed calm about it and gave his blessings.

So what changed after you started dating the woman in question??

Everything.  He became distant. We stopped doing things together, not the game nights or the football matches. Whenever I tried to make conversation, he’d shut it down with one-word responses.

Must have been tough.

The worst part was how he treated my girlfriend whenever she visited. He never greeted her, never spoke to her and acted like she wasn’t there.

She asked me a few times if she’d offended Ibrahim, but I kept telling her not to worry.

Did you try talking to him about it?

I did, but he insisted everything was fine and claimed he was busy with work. Still, his behaviour stayed the same. Then, in September 2025, he finally came clean.

He told me our living arrangement wasn鈥檛 working anymore and said I needed to move out. At first, I thought he was joking, but once I realised he wasn鈥檛, the shock and hurt hit me.

I was confused by the whole situation because I’d specifically asked for his blessing before pursuing the babe.

Right. Did you remind him?

Of course. That鈥檚 when he admitted that he only agreed because he didn’t want to seem selfish. That was the first honest thing he鈥檇 said about the situation.

But I continued looking for a new place anyway because he didn鈥檛 rescind his decision. He still wanted me out. The whole period between finding a new place and still sharing the apartment with him was miserable. We went days without speaking. It felt like I was living with a stranger. 

Eventually, I found a place in April 2026. It felt sad to leave because I鈥檇 spent years building that relationship. But it is what it is. I鈥檓 still with my babe, and the relationship is thriving.

Do you ever wonder if the relationship was worth losing Ibrahim over?

Sometimes. I don鈥檛 regret my relationship. I just wish I’d found a way to keep both. 

Do you think you’d reconcile if Ibrahim reached out?

It wouldn鈥檛 be easy, but I’d still try. A part of me hopes we’ll speak again someday.

Growing up, Morenikeji* (29) adored her older brother, Ayo* (33). He was smart, responsible and constantly held up as the example to follow. 

Then, in December 2025, one conversation changed everything.

For Sunken Ships, she shares how a political disagreement shattered the respect she鈥檇 spent a lifetime building with her brother, and why he now feels like a stranger.

What was your relationship with your brother like growing up?

It was great. He鈥檚 the oldest, so my younger brother and I always looked up to him. 

He was the best of us academically, and my parents constantly used him as the standard we should aspire to. Beyond being my older brother, I genuinely liked him as a person.

What made you two so close? 

We鈥檙e similar and share a love for music, movies and the arts. There was nothing I couldn鈥檛 talk to him about. We’d discuss work, relationships, family issues and our plans for the future. If I were ever in trouble, he would be the first person I鈥檇 reach out to for help. Ayo was one of the few people whose opinion I genuinely valued. 

Did you ever disagree with him?

Of course. We fought as most siblings do, but it was never serious. 

But our most recent disagreement is the worst we鈥檝e ever had. And honestly, I don鈥檛 know if we鈥檒l recover from it.

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What happened?

We fell out over our political differences. I know it sounds strange that something like that could upturn the bond we share as siblings, but that鈥檚 just how I feel.

 I didn鈥檛 vote in the 2023 elections because I simply didn鈥檛 care.

Since then, I鈥檝e learnt my lessons. Nigeria has shown me proper shege, and I鈥檝e been forced to become more politically conscious. I鈥檝e encouraged the people around me to care, too, and I鈥檝e reached a point where most of them share my concerns and frustrations.

I鈥檇 naturally assumed my brother would follow suit. I couldn鈥檛 have been more wrong.  

What do you mean?

My biggest gripe is his support of the APC. After I developed an interest in politics, I aligned myself with a party that actually cares about effecting change. And I encouraged my family and friends to support the same party. 

But not my brother. Not only was he hell-bent on keeping his support for a party that鈥檚 gotten us to our current state, but he also took glee in defending some of the worst tribalist takes imaginable. 

Doesn’t he have the right to his own political choice, or did you at least ask his reasons?

I did. We were both home for Christmas in December 2025, so I pulled him aside to talk.

I couldn鈥檛 reconcile the brother I鈥檇 admired all my life with someone willing to support people I believe are dishonest. Then he explained himself.  He said he didn鈥檛 want to antagonise powerful people he hoped to connect with someday.

What did you think of his reason?

The explanation made absolutely no sense, and it completely changed how I saw him. I鈥檇 always held him in high regard, yet, in that moment, I realised he was willing to overlook everything the party represents as long as he benefited. 

I lost all respect for him that day.

Yikes. Did you express your disappointment, though?

In a way, I did. I tried to change his mind. I supported my argument against the party with examples of just how bad things have gotten in the country. But the more we argued, the more things escalated. 

I tagged him disappointing and greedy. He called me naive and foolish, especially for thinking my 鈥榖ig English鈥� could change reality. 

And that was when I landed the final blow. I regret my actions, but it was necessary.

What did you do?

He鈥檚 always been insecure about his financial situation. He has a job, but the economy hasn鈥檛 been kind to him, just like the rest of us. So I told him that his continued support for the party wouldn鈥檛 guarantee his success in life or make him rich. I saw the hurt spread across his face immediately. Part of me wishes I hadn鈥檛 said those words.  

Did you try to apologise?

Not in that moment, I didn鈥檛 feel the need to. But every time I replay the scenario, I wish I could cut that part out.

And how have things been since then?

We鈥檝e barely spoken. I avoid him because I don鈥檛 trust myself not to say something worse.

I even unfollowed him everywhere because seeing him defend that party online only makes me angrier. Our relationship has changed for the worse.

What does the rest of your family think of this?

They all insist I鈥檓 overreacting. My parents especially keep saying politics shouldn鈥檛 come between family. But that鈥檚 not how I see it. 

To me, this isn鈥檛 just about politics. It鈥檚 about values. I鈥檓 scared of what my brother would do if he ever had access to real power.  

Has he reached out to you since your fight?

No. And I haven鈥檛 reached out either. Right now, the distance between us is for the best.

 I don鈥檛 see a future where things return to how they used to be, unless there鈥檚 a fundamental change. I鈥檓 too disappointed by what he stands for.  

What鈥檚 the hardest part about this fight with your brother?

Missing him. Ayo isn鈥檛 just my brother; we used to be friends. I wish we were still on the same page.

Joy* (28) used to be best friends with her older sister, Moje* (30), until Moje started dating Fola*. 

For Sunken Ships, Joy opens up about watching her sister shrink under a controlling relationship, how her attempt at an intervention backfired, and the distance that has followed since.

What was growing up with your sister like?

Moje and I are two years apart, and growing up, she was my best friend and role model. I admired her so much, and I wanted to be exactly like her.

What was your relationship like as adults?

We remained close. We talked almost every day. If anything happened, she was the first person I’d call. I used to spend weekends at her place and we always made time to hang out with our mutual friends. Now I second-guess whether to even text her. 

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What changed?

She started dating a guy named Fola* in 2024. She met him through a mutual friend, and at first, she wouldn’t stop talking about him. I met him a few times after they got together, and he seemed sweet. He called her often and showered her with affection. I remember telling my sister he seemed serious about her.

When did things start to feel off?

At first, it was very small things. She started spending a lot of time at his place, and we didn鈥檛 get to see each other often. Then it became her not wanting to go out with her friends unless she checked with him first. I thought maybe she was just being a considerate girlfriend, but it kept escalating, and I started to worry.

Can you give me an example?

In April 2025, our cousin was getting married in Ondo. Moje and I had bought our outfits and were supposed to travel together. Two days before, she called to say she wasn’t coming anymore. When I asked why, she said Fola felt the wedding 鈥渨asn’t necessary for her to attend鈥�. I thought it was ridiculous.

Did you say anything to her at the time?

No, I only made a joke about him hiding her from her family. She laughed it off and said I was exaggerating. But it kept happening. She missed countless hangouts with her other friends and me. We鈥檇 be expecting her, and she鈥檇 cancel at the last minute. The worst part was that every excuse she gave had to do with Fola or an opinion he had about the outing.

Did anything else make you feel concerned?

Yes. The longer the relationship went on, the more her decisions revolved around whether Fola would like them and what he thought. She even changed the way she dressed because Fola preferred a different look.

What finally pushed you to talk to her about it?

I was at her place one weekend, and we were gisting about her relationship. Then she confided in me that she and Fola had a big argument. When she described their argument, she mentioned that he had yelled at her and punched a wall before storming out, which I saw as a huge red flag. She tried to downplay it as a one-off, and I decided to talk to her about all my concerns.

How did that conversation go?

Honestly, I was a bit harsh at first. I told her bluntly that her relationship was getting too controlling and that I didn’t like how obsessed she’d become with Fola鈥檚 approval. I reminded her of how she used to travel and go out whenever she wanted. I told her that Fola might be manipulating her.

How did she react?

She got defensive immediately. She said I didn’t understand their relationship, and I was only seeing the bad parts and not the good ones. She said that every relationship has its issues. Then it turned into her accusing me of never liking anyone she dated. She also called me jealous because I’m single, and that one stung.

Ah. What happened after that?

I talked about it with our cousin, who advised me to apologise to her because she鈥檚 the older sibling. So two days later, I called to apologise.

Did she accept your apology?

No, she told me to stay out of her business if I couldn’t support her relationship. Since then, our calls have gone from every other day to maybe once every couple of weeks. Even those calls feel stiff, like we’re walking on eggshells around each other.

Has anyone in your family noticed the rift between you?

My mum has goten suspicious, but doesn’t know the full story. I haven’t told her about Fola鈥檚 fight with Moje because it’s not really my place to share, and I think she would feel betrayed if she found out I told our mum behind her back.聽

Where do things stand between you right now?

We’re cordial but distant. She doesn鈥檛 tell me any details about her relationship with Fola anymore, and she comes to even fewer hangouts. The few times we see each other, I try to hide my emotions when Fola’s name pops up. I hate that he has come between us. Sometimes I catch myself wishing they’d break up, and then I feel guilty because she’s my sister and I want her to be happy. 

If you could say something to her, what would it be?

That I’m not trying to control who she loves, I just want her to see how she鈥檚 being isolated by this person. I just want my sister back.

Do you think you and Moje will regain your previous closeness?

I hope so. I miss my sister, and I feel so helpless. It feels like she鈥檚 disappearing into this relationship, and I don鈥檛 know how to reach her. I can only pray she knows that I鈥檒l always have her best interests at heart.

When Ada* (22)聽 came out to Susan* (22) in University, she became the first person to make her feel safe. But as Ada grew more comfortable with her sexuality and found community among other queer women, she noticed Susan pulling away.聽

For Sunken Ships, Ada shares how she lost a precious friendship because the person who once accepted her unconditionally became uncomfortable with being associated with her. 

What made you realise your friendship with Susan was going downhill?

I noticed that when we went out, she never posted pictures of us or our outing, but she did that for all her other friends.

Let鈥檚 head back to the beginning. How did you meet?

I met Susan in 2021 at a canteen at our university. A mutual friend introduced us, and we clicked almost immediately. We swapped contacts and started texting on WhatsApp. Within months, we were inseparable and remained so for the next three years.

What were the early years of your friendship with her like?

It was amazing. Our friendship quickly became a sisterhood. She was the first person I called when anything happened, good or bad. We spoke or texted each other every day. She was also the first person I trusted enough to see the parts of myself I was hiding from the world.

What parts of yourself were you hiding?

I鈥檓 a lesbian. I鈥檓 comfortable with my identity now, but back then I wasn鈥檛. Not even to myself at first. I grew up in a conservative Christian home, so even entertaining the possibility felt terrifying. Susan is straight, but she was the only person I felt safe enough to talk to about the complex feelings my sexuality gave rise to. 

How did she react when you told her about your queerness?

She didn鈥檛 even flinch or do anything dramatic. She treated my coming out like it was just another regular day. It lifted a huge weight from my heart that I didn鈥檛 even know was there. For years, she was my safe space. 

At what point did you start accepting your sexuality?

After university. We both moved to Lagos for our service year in 2025. There, I started meeting other queer women for the first time. It felt like somebody had finally switched on a light. I made new friends, started going to events, and I even experienced my first relationship with a woman. In all this, Susan was by my side, and I told her everything.

How did Susan fit into this new phase of your life?

At first, I thought she was happy for me. Whenever I told her about a date or a new friend, she’d smile and listen. But after a while, I noticed she never asked follow-up questions, she鈥檇 just change the topic. Then I started noticing other things.

Like what?

Whenever she went out with her friends, she always posted photos of their outing and them together, but she never posted us, even though we saw each other multiple times a week. It became obvious to me that something had changed.

Did you ever ask her about it?

Yes, many times. Every single time, she’d tell me I was imagining things. She’d say she didn鈥檛 post photos of me because she forgot or was busy. I accepted her explanations because ultimately, she was my closest friend.

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Was there a particular moment that made you realise the friendship was in trouble?

Yes. I invited Susan and a bunch of my other friends to my birthday dinner in 2025. Most of the guests were queer because those were the people I spent the most time with. Then, halfway through dinner, before we even cut the cake, Susan begged to leave, saying she had an emergency. It was very odd.

What happened next?

I called her the next day to ask if she was okay, since her behaviour the previous night had been unusual. What she said shocked me.

Tell me what she said.

She said she’d spent the entire evening feeling like an outsider. I apologised immediately because I thought I’d somehow excluded her. Then she said something that completely threw me off. She said I was getting wrapped up in 鈥渢hat lifestyle鈥�.

What did she mean by that?

According to her, hanging out with queer people all the time was giving me a bad reputation in our old school groups. More and more people were clocking my queerness, and it was making her uncomfortable. She confessed that was why she hadn鈥檛 been posting photos of me. To avoid rumours that something was going on between us.

How did that make you feel?

It hurt. Especially because she was the first person I was ever comfortable being myself with. I didn’t know how to explain that becoming my true self wasn’t something I could undo to make her feel more comfortable.

What happened after that conversation?

That conversation revealed a gap in our closeness. We tried to continue our friendship, but the distance between us kept growing. First, we stopped hanging out as much and started talking less and less. Then, over a few months, we just stopped talking altogether.

Did either of you officially end the friendship?

No. That’s the saddest part for me. I miss our friendship terribly, but we鈥檙e on different paths now.

Have you spoken to her since the end of the friendship?

Yes, but only once in a while. It’s cordial. We check in on birthdays and holidays, but the intimacy is gone. We don’t know each other’s daily lives anymore, and every conversation reminds me of what we used to share. 

How do you feel about her now?

I still love her, and I miss our friendship. She was my best friend during some of the hardest and most confusing years of my life. But I think she loves a version of me that no longer exists, and I had to choose between keeping that version alive for her or becoming myself. I chose myself.

Would you be open to reconciliation if she said she was interested?

No. I don鈥檛 know if she has let go of her fear of what others think of our friendship. Losing her hurt, and I don鈥檛 want to go through that again.

Names have been changed to protect the identity of the subjects.

When Esther* (24) lost her mum, the loneliness that followed felt unbearable. Desperate for companionship, she found comfort in Ire* (24), who quickly became her emotional anchor during one of the darkest periods of her life. But what started as a source of healing soon turned into a relationship marked by disrespect, betrayal and heartbreak. 

For Sunken Ships, Esther shares how she and Ire鈥檚 story began, why she forgave him the first time and the moment that spelt the end of their relationship.

How did you and Ire meet?

We started talking on Facebook in May 2023, and quickly became regular text buddies. He attended the same university as I did, but he was away for his IT year. Soon, we were talking every day and became really close before we agreed to meet in August.

What drew you to him?

He was always there when I needed it. We talked constantly, and he became my companion during a really dark period. At the time, that meant everything to me.

What was giving you a tough time?

My mum, who was my best friend, passed away in March 2023, and it was rough for me. The loneliness was almost unbearable. I felt like everyone had moved on and abandoned me after the funeral. Meeting Ire became a breath of fresh air. His consistency meant a lot to me.

That鈥檚 great. What happened when he returned to school?

We spent almost every day together throughout August and began dating. I was genuinely happy. For the first time since my mum died, I didn’t feel lonely all the time.聽

So what changed?

I became attached to him. I always wanted to be around him, and he started complaining about it. He’d compare me to other girls and tell me I needed to give him space so he could miss me.

Wow. How did that make you feel?

It hurt. Ire was one of the few people I felt safe with. After losing my mum, I’d become used to relying on him emotionally. So when he started pulling away, it felt like I was losing someone important all over again. 

I鈥檓 so sorry. What did you do after that?

I didn鈥檛 want to let him go. So even though he got more and more rude and dismissive of my feelings, I stayed with him, hoping things would get better.

Did they?

Not at all.

Can you give me an instance?

In September 2023, I visited him, and after a while, he rudely told me to go back to my place. When I left, I forgot my keys at his place and had to go back to get them. When I got there, I caught him having sex with someone else.

That鈥檚 awful! What did he say?

Nothing, he just begged me. I should have left him then, but I had the mentality that all men cheat anyway, so I took him back and hoped he wouldn鈥檛 hurt me again. I think I was just scared of being alone again. Until the last straw, I was determined to stand by him.

Tell me about that.

It only took a month for him to send me over the edge. For context, his neighbour had a female friend, Sade*, who stayed over often. After a while, I noticed Ire was spending more and more time with her. When Sade came around, Ire would cut my visits short and send me back home.

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Did you ever confront him about it? 

No. It didn鈥檛 sit right with me, but I still took it in stride because of how much I cared about him. On one of my visits in November that year, he told me he wanted to step out to get something nearby, but he didn鈥檛 come back for over an hour. I was worried and went to check for him, only to find he was at the neighbour鈥檚 place.

What did you do when you found out?

I was so upset, I left without saying anything to him. At home, I felt guilty for leaving abruptly so around 10:00 PM that night, I decided to go back to his place so we could talk things out. What I met there shocked me.

What did you find?

Ire opened the door, and behind him was Sade wearing nothing but lingerie. I ignored her and told Ire I wanted to talk, but he said that wasn鈥檛 possible and that I had to leave because Sade was spending the night with him.

Ah. How did you react to that?

I was dumbfounded. I asked him if he was choosing her over me, and he said yes. He told me to go home like I meant nothing to him.

Whoa. That鈥檚 so wicked.

I was too hurt to even go back home immediately. I sat outside his place for a few minutes and heard them laughing together through the door.

What did you do after you left?

That incident shook me. I blocked him everywhere that night. The next day, he came begging as usual, but I shut him out completely. I want nothing to do with him ever again.

I鈥檓 glad. Has this experience affected how you approach relationships?

Yes, I鈥檝e been single since I left Ire. I have learned to put myself first, and I’m not interested in romance right now. I shouldn’t lose myself trying to keep someone who doesn’t value me.