Love Life聽is a 麻豆视频 weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.
Rosie (29) and Xo (33) met in August 2023, a year into Rosie鈥檚 US embassy posting in Nigeria, when she was still struggling to feel at home.
On this week鈥檚 Love Life, they talk about a seven-hour first date, a breakup sparked by malaria, and how they rebuilt trust and their relationship across continents before deciding to build a business together too.
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What’s your earliest memory of each other?
Rosie: I’d arrived in Nigeria in 2022 for work and struggled to settle in during the first year. I didn’t have many friends and wasn’t acclimated to the environment. Around August 2023, a colleague I’d known for a year mentioned this guy she thought I’d get along with. She said he was hardworking, was building a business, and was open to making new friends.
I gave her permission to pass along my number, and that鈥檚 how we started talking.
Xo: I’d actually worked with our mutual friend on an interior design job. One day, she reached out and told me about her amazing friend she thought I’d connect with. I asked if she meant just friends or something more, and she said she’d leave that up to us. I said, “Sure, send me the number.”
Curious, did either of you ask to see pictures?
Rosie: Oh yes, I did. And the only one I got was from the COVID era. He had a mask on, so all I could really see were his eyes. Still, I was very drawn to his eyes. They looked kind. I told myself, even if he turns out to be ugly, he seems like he’d make a good friend.
Xo: My friend sent me a picture of Rosie, too, and my first question was, 鈥淪he鈥檚 not Nigerian?鈥 I hadn’t really been around people outside my race, so even the idea of just being friends felt new and exciting. But honestly, I couldn鈥檛 miss the fact that she was beautiful.
Right. So how did your first interaction go?
Rosie: He texted first and asked if he could call, and I immediately said no. I’m not a phone call person, especially with someone I don’t know yet. But he didn鈥檛 have a problem with my preference, so we got into texting.
Xo: The conversations were pretty basic, since I was often out of town and only texted when I had free moments. I don’t think she was too impressed with how reluctant I seemed, but we kept it going.
Rosie: It was a lot of getting to know each other, and we went back and forth for a few weeks before he finally asked us to meet in person.
Xo: I was going to be in town the following week and wanted to see her. We met for the first time on August 26, 2023.
Rosie: I remember being so strict about the details. I told him to give me an exact time and place because I don’t like waiting around. I think that’s part of why he chose to meet somewhere near his workplace, since he knew for sure he’d be there.
Let鈥檚 get into the date. How did it go?
Xo: I still had to work that day, so I told her I’d be finishing up on my laptop when she arrived and asked if it was fine. She completely understood. When she got there, I stepped outside to meet her, and she just looked incredible in her black dress. When we got inside, I closed my laptop and tried to make conversation to avoid any awkwardness.
After I finished up with work, we went to a restaurant in Wuse. We also went to see a movie, but while we waited for the time slot, we killed time with margaritas at a Mexican spot. We continued talking, and everything felt so natural. Before we knew it, we鈥檇 spent about seven hours on our first date.
Rosie: Everything he said. He was already being sweet and kind from the moment I arrived. He opened doors, checked in on me and constantly made sure I was comfortable. I actually liked that we met near his workplace. I’d been looking for someone with the same hardworking energy as me, and seeing him in his element shifted things for me almost immediately. I went from 鈥渙h, this could just be a friend,鈥 to wanting to explore this romantically. And yes, he was very good-looking in person, which helped.
The date was really sweet, even though I was nervous.
Oh. Why?
Rosie: I’m actually not a nervous person because my job requires me to interact with people constantly. But I felt that way because some part of me already knew I’d just met my future husband.
Aww. What happened after that first date?
Rosie: I went home smiling and called my mum immediately to tell her all about him. We kept texting after that, though I’ll say Xo was a pretty bad texter it was honestly annoying.
About a week later, he asked to meet up again, and I figured, let’s just see how the second date goes, maybe he’s just bad at texting but good at showing up.
The second date was also really good. We went to eat and tried an activity I’d never tried before. I think he’d picked up on my love for new experiences from our earlier conversations. After that date, I told him directly that he needed to work on his texting, and he explained he was just deep in the building phase of his company at the time.
So, at what point did things progress romantically?
Xo: You know, on our first date, I told her I was going to marry her. It wasn’t a serious down on one knee kind of statement, more just something I felt deep down and said out loud. But even though I knew that early, we didn’t rush into anything. We’d actually talked about it and agreed we weren’t looking for a relationship at that point, so we kept things as they were for a while.
Rosie: When he said that about marriage on the first date, I didn’t find it weird at all, which surprised me, because normally that kind of statement would freak me out. I think I even said something suggesting that I agreed.
But as I said, I had reservations about jumping into a relationship. I’d come out of a long-term relationship before, and I’d told myself the next person I dated had to be the one, no in between. So I wanted to really get to know him first, make sure I was okay with everything about him before committing.
Over the following months, he showed up consistently and intentionally. He planned dates around small things I’d mentioned in passing, like a tea party or having his team set up a mirror for me because I’d casually mentioned not having one. The fact that he actually listened meant a lot, and he eventually became a much better texter. But there was still this nagging worry, since I already knew my posting in Nigeria would end in late July 2024, and I didn’t know whether starting something serious made sense given the distance ahead.
Xo: Whenever she brought that up, my answer was always some version of, “We’ll figure it out.鈥 I just wanted us to enjoy and cherish the moment we had together without borrowing grief from the future. And I managed to douse her worries until she asked us to take a pause.
Oh. Why? What happened?
Rosie: I travelled home to the US for Christmas around mid-December 2023, and before I left, I told him we should hold off for a bit. I needed time to think.
For that entire week apart, I was miserable and couldn’t stop thinking about reaching back out. I met up with a friend in the US who asked if I was seeing anyone, and when I brought up Xo, she pointed out that my whole face lit up when I talked about him. That was enough for me to reach out and apologise for suggesting we pause things.
Xo: I understood there were a lot of uncertainties for us, especially around where her job would post her next. But I commit fully once I set my mind on something. I already knew I wanted Rosie, so whatever it took, I was ready. When she said we should hold off, I wasn’t happy about it, but I gave her the space anyway and just hoped she’d come around, which she eventually did. And that鈥檚 when we became official.
Let鈥檚 talk about how that happened.
Rosie: I travelled to Peru for two weeks after the US trip, and we were on FaceTime constantly the whole time. I remember hoping that we’d make it official once I got back to Nigeria, though I never said it outright. I think he picked up on it from how much we were talking. I returned to Nigeria around mid-January 2024.
Xo: When she got back, I went straight to the point. I told her there was no need to beat around the bush, that we both clearly knew how we felt. She agreed, and that was when I knew this was serious.
What were the early days of the actual relationship like?
Rosie: It was beautiful. I like routines, so we settled into a weekly date rhythm, while he brought more spontaneity to things. We started planning our first trip together, and ended up in the Seychelles that May.
The trip was an emotional one. I cried more than half the time we were there, because I already knew my time in Nigeria was running out. We had a lot of conversations about how we’d manage long-distance, and I’d get frustrated when his answer was still just “We’ll figure it out.鈥 But outside of our relationship, I also really got to know his culture, the food, the music. Before him, I couldn’t handle spicy food at all; now I’m the one asking for extra pepper. I also met his friends, and they were so welcoming. It reminded me of how warmly I’d been received when I first built a life in Nigeria.
Xo: That early stretch of the relationship was genuinely sweet and challenging at the same time. I knew I’d found someone I wanted to spend my life with, even as I knew she’d be leaving soon. It was a difficult trope to navigate.
Blending two different cultures wasn’t always smooth, especially around food and music, and there were quiet moments at home where I’d think, after all this, she’s just going to leave. But I never seriously considered walking away. I just kept telling myself, “Let’s make the memories now,” and I’d keep making the effort for us, regardless of what was coming.
Rosie mentioned having to leave Nigeria in July 2024. What happened during that period?
Rosie: It was another bittersweet moment. So after all these months dreading the elephant in the room, the time to leave finally crept up on us. I got malaria that July. It was pretty bad, so I ended up in the hospital. It felt like the worst possible timing because I was supposed to be packing to leave. Luckily, my mum was around in Nigeria to help me pack.
During this time, Xo would come to the hospital, but he wasn’t there the entire time; he’d leave and come back. Where I come from, if your partner is hospitalised, you stay with them the entire time; you don’t go home. That difference in expectation became a real issue between us. It led to one of our biggest fights, and we’ve never shared this publicly before now.
Oh
Xo: Here鈥檚 the thing: I鈥檓 a Nigerian living in Nigeria. I get malaria myself every couple of months, and it was never a life-threatening condition. So my instinct was to treat it the way I always did. I didn鈥檛 realise how much harder it hit her since it was her first time getting malaria.
I was in and out of the hospital for about three days. But because of how she was feeling, physically and emotionally, she ended up telling me it wasn’t enough. She said I wasn’t there the way she needed me to be, and she broke things off with me.
I take things seriously; I don’t play games. When she called it off, I respected it and told her, 鈥渙kay, no problem, you want this, you’ll have it.鈥 I didn’t fight it in the moment.
Wait, you didn鈥檛 try to resolve this before she left?
Xo: About a week or two before she was set to leave, I had some of her things to return. I could have sent them over, but I wanted to bring them myself. I guess I wanted to see her in person. I even picked up some gifts for her on my way.
When I got there, I suggested we take a drive. Part of me knew if this didn’t work, it wasn’t really about the malaria at all. There was probably something more. We talked during that drive, and I apologised for how things had played out. She also realised she’d reacted out of being deeply in her feelings during a hard moment.
We found our way back to each other, though not as an official couple yet. We agreed it made sense for her to leave first and see how things felt from a long-distance perspective before becoming official again. I was still cautious after the breakup, so I wanted us to test the distance honestly before jumping back in.
Rosie: When he showed up that’s when I realised I’d made a mistake reacting the way I did. But I was glad he stopped by, even though he could have just sent my things via courier. Two weeks later, I left Nigeria.
He was actually in the car with me on the way to the airport. It was late at night, and it was sad knowing what was coming. I think I cried, though he won’t easily admit to crying himself.
Xo: I didn’t cry, but I felt really low. My eyes watered at some point, honestly. Not crying doesn’t mean I wasn’t emotional; I missed her badly the moment she was gone.
What was your relationship like once Rosie was back in the US, and how did you eventually reconnect?
Rosie: We talked maybe once a week at first, by design. We鈥檇 both said we wanted to genuinely grow individually, and staying in constant contact would’ve undercut that. At one point, we didn’t talk for about a month and a half straight; it was too painful to see his texts and know it wasn’t the right time. Then, around my birthday in December, he reached out. We had a long conversation that lasted for six hours. I even work the next day because I was up until 5 a.m. It was the conversation we both needed, and we admitted how much we’d missed each other.
Xo: That conversation was very needed. But I think for me, I also spent most of that period buried in work. Still, I missed her a lot. So, around that December, I made that call because I genuinely couldn’t hold back any longer.
After we finished talking, I knew she was still as into me as I was into her, regardless of the fact that we鈥檇 both taken some time apart.
Curious, though. Did either of you consider seeing other people during that period apart?
Rosie: I’d rather not get into specifics on that, but I will say that whatever growing I was doing wasn’t purely for myself; part of it was always with the hope that we’d eventually end up together, however long it took.
Xo: I’ll say the same. I never stopped knowing I loved her, even while giving us both that space.
Fair enough. When did you two agree to get back together properly?
Rosie: Around January 2025. He鈥檇 mentioned that if we were getting back together, it had to be for real this time. No more breakups or going back and forth, and I agreed.
Xo: By then, we’d already had the long conversations that made it clear this was serious, so there was no hesitation on my end.
Rosie: I flew back to Nigeria in March 2025 and stayed a month, the maximum my visa allowed. Even though we were already technically back together, he still took me on a proper date and asked me to be his girlfriend again. But after 30 days, it was time to leave again. And this was when we started having serious conversations about my career.
Tell me about that.
Rosie: I’d spent my entire adult life putting my career first, even back in college. I decided that this time I wanted to put the relationship first. I told him I was considering a change into private consulting, something that would give us more flexibility, and asked if he’d support that. He said absolutely, whatever it took.
Xo: At that point, I think we鈥檇 both understood the fact that we weren’t just fighting to keep a relationship alive but also building a future. So we also decided to go into business together. I told her I had capital and she had the expertise, so we started building something together on top of our relationship.
Rosie: We opened a short-let residence enterprise in Abuja, and we’re also working on Airbnbs in DC. We’ve already got one running and are looking to expand. I’ve been back to Nigeria three or four times since that reunion.
Neat. After two years together, what would you say is the best thing about being with each other?
Xo: Rosie brings a lot of calm. Relationships aren’t all smooth, but when I’m with her, I feel like the missing piece of a puzzle has clicked into place. She pushes me to be better emotionally, physically, and financially, and I genuinely feel good being around her.
Rosie: His kindness. He’s the type of person who’d give away his last shirt if someone needed it, sometimes to his own detriment. He always figures things out, which is a big part of why long distance has been manageable for us. I trust that whatever happens, he’ll find a way through it, and I feel emotionally fulfilled whenever I’m with him.
On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your love life?
Xo: A solid 9. Nothing is perfect, and we still have differences to work through, but I’m leaving that last point open for growth.
Rosie: I was going to say 10, but he’s right that there’s always room to grow, so I’ll say 9.5. We trust each other deeply, which matters so much in long-distance. The half point left is for when we’re finally living in the same place, and there鈥檚 no more distance.
Speaking of. How do you see the future of this relationship, considering the long distance?
Rosie: The goal is to live together eventually. Right now we’re both still growing our hustles, but I know that if I ever needed him to drop everything and show up, he would, and I’d do the same. We already have our next trip planned for September; we never leave each other without knowing when we’ll see each other again.
Xo: We’ve already travelled to three countries together, and there are more we still want to explore. But a long-distance relationship isn’t forever for us. We鈥檙e ultimately settling down as one family.
If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill out this聽.
